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Two years ago around this time, I was worrying a lot about my future. What if I don’t get into any grad schools? What if I can’t get a job? Where am I going to live? What am I going to do?
By God’s grace, within the next few months, I had a summer internship and a full ride to a two year graduate program lined up. It was rather nice knowing that I would be “taken care of” for two years. But here I am once again, knowing that I will finish school soon with no concrete future plans in sight.
I don’t want to think about the future. I don’t want to think about more change. I don’t want to think about leaving people again. I just want things to stay the same. Of course, this type of thinking completely ignores all of the amazing things that have come forth from moving to a new city, going to a new school, and becoming a member of a new church.
As much as I crave consistency, I keep encountering consistent change. Ever since I left home to start college, I haven’t lived in the same place for more than two years. I haven’t even attended the same church for more than two years.
I’m probably too eager to settle down because I’m afraid of being challenged and molded into the image of Christ.
The Lord knows better than to give me my selfish desires. And what an adventure that has been, and will continue to be.
